The Death of Pretty

Though these words are not mine, I agree to them 100%. It was originally written by Pat Archbold.

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This post is intended as a lament of sorts, a lament for something in the culture that is dying and may never been seen again.

Pretty, pretty is dying.

People will define pretty differently. For the purposes of this piece, I define pretty as a mutually enriching balanced combination of beauty and projected innocence.

Once upon a time, women wanted to project an innocence. I am not idealizing another age and I have no illusions about the virtues of our grandparents, concupiscence being what it is. But some things were different in the back then. First and foremost, many beautiful women, whatever the state of their souls, still wished to project a public innocence and virtue. And that combination of beauty and innocence is what I define as pretty.

By nature, generally when men see this combination in women it brings out their better qualities, their best in fact. That special combination of beauty and innocence, the pretty inspires men to protect and defend it.

Young women today do not seem to aspire to pretty, they prefer to be regarded as hot. Hotness is something altogether different. When women want to be hot instead of pretty, they must view themselves in a certain way and consequently men view them differently as well.

As I said, pretty inspires men’s nobler instincts to protect and defend. Pretty is cherished. Hotness, on the other hand, is a commodity. Its value is temporary and must be used. It is a consumable.

Nowhere is this pretty deficit more obvious than in our “stars,” the people we elevate as the “ideal.” The stars of the fifties surely suffered from the same sin as do stars of today. Stars of the fifties weren’t ideal but they pursued a public ideal different from today.

The merits of hotness over pretty is easy enough to understand, they made an entire musical about it. Who can forget how pretty Olivia Newton John was at the beginning of Grease. Beautiful and innocent. But her desire to be desired leads her to throw away all that is valuable in herself in the vain hopes of getting the attention of a boy. In the process, she destroys her innocence and thus destroys the pretty. What we are left with is hotness.

Hotness is a consumable. A consumable that consumes as it is consumed but brings no warmth.

Most girls don’t want to be pretty anymore even if they understand what it is. It is ironic that 40 years of women’s liberation has succeeded only in turning women into a commodity. Something to be used up and thrown out.

Of course men play a role in this as well, but women should know better and they once did. Once upon a time you would hear girls talk about kind of women men date and the kind they marry. You don’t hear things like that anymore.

But here is the real truth. Most men prefer pretty over hot. Even back in 6th grade I hated the “hot” Olivia Newton John and felt sorry for her that she had to debase herself in such a way. Still do.
Our problem is that society doesn’t value innocence anymore, real or imagined. Nobody aspires to innocence anymore. Nobody wants to be thought of as innocent, the good girl. They want to be hot, not pretty.

I still hope that pretty comes back, although I think it not likely any time soon. For every Taylor Swift, there are a hundred Megan Foxs, or Lindsay Lohans, or Miley Cyruses etc.

Girls, please, bring back the pretty.

Get Some

We started 2012 off with a BANG literally. We took Zach's new Christmas present to the rang to try it out today. His Dad and brothers came along too. It was a blast. Turns out, with a little more practice I might actually be AWESOME at this. 

Do you like our sweet glasses from the 80's? I think its time for an upgrade. 

Goals in 2012

De-clutter our lives. Clean up every aspect and focus on who and what is the most important. Four days in and I think we're doing good so far.

Happy Birthday Sophie

This cute thing has officially turned 9 years old.. that's 63 in dog years. 

For her birthday we celebrated at home, just the three of us. She was spoiled with grilled chicken and carrots for dinner. As you can tell by this picture she is very happy about her meal. We are so lucky to have such an amazing dog. Her birthday also marked the ONE YEAR anniversary of the day we adopted her. She's come a long way since then and is no longer as afraid of people or loud noises. Hopefully she will be able to complete her service dog training this year and be able to really help a lot of people. 

Wise "words" from little fishes

Many of you may remember these little guys, but for those of you that don't they played a part as centerpieces for our wedding reception in Utah. Adorable, right? Well after the reception we had let everyone take them home; assuming that gold fishes die within the week it really wouldn't be much of a commitment issue. Well two little guys found a home with Zach's cousins in Highland, Utah.

 They are still alive and kicking almost two and a half years later!

But a couple months ago they ran into a bit of a rough patch. While Emma was away at camp one of the fishes decided to go belly up. Our Aunt Dana, not wanting her daughter to come home to a dead fish, decided to empty the bowl and send him to the big pond in the sky (aka the toilet). She watched as she  flushed him down and continued with her day. Almost 30 minutes later when she returned to clean the bathroom to her surprise; there he was swimming with all his might and very alive. She quickly scooped him up, cleaned out his bowl and returned him to the counter with Emma being none the wiser. 

So what can we learn from these little guys? Well considering that they are our "wedding fish" we also think of them to be symbolic of our marriage. Perhaps not just our marriage, but marriage in general. Typically on a day to day basis we are happy with our lives. We continue to swim around our bowls, eat food, hang out with people we love and try to ignore the people poking on the glass and driving us insane. Occasionally life gets to hard to swim and we want to give up. We decide that marriage is "too hard" and not worth the work and we start to go belly up. If we don't make a change quickly, before we know it we will be circling the rim of life almost ending it all. But then something wonderful can happen. We can FIGHT. We fight for our marriage and swim our way back to happiness and repair what has happened. 

There is nothing that a little conversation and kissing can't fix. 

With 50% of marriages ending in divorce and 90% of store gold fishes not making it past the weekend the odds are against us. 

These two stand as a testament that you can beat the odds and live a happy life IF you remember to

Just Keep Swimming.....